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Reprinted with permission from "HEAD TO HEART" by Gila Manolson.

The second is responsibility, responding to his or her expressed and unexpressed needs (particularly, in an adult relationship, emotional needs).

The third is respect, "the ability to see a person as he [or she] is, to be aware of his [or her] unique individuality," and, consequently, wanting that person to "grow and unfold as he [or she] is." These three components all depend upon the fourth, knowledge.

You can care for, respond to, and respect another only as deeply as you know him or her.

At the end of the conversation, her mother said, "Darling, I want you to know we love you, and we love David." Susan was a bit dubious.

A woman I know once explained why she's been happily married for 25 years.

"A relationship has its ups and downs," she told me.

These may be the seeds of love, but they have yet to sprout.